Fez pisses off Lindsay Lohan

US Weekly is reporting that Wilder Valderrama is a pathetic mess and wants Lindsay Lohan back. He is so desperate for her side boob that he sang her a ballad:

An eyewitness tells the New York Daily News’ Rush & Molloy that Valderrama “tried to talk to her, but she didn’t have much time for him. Then he grabbed a microphone and said, ‘Lindsay, this is for you.’”

In front of the packed house, Valderrama, 27, warbled these lyrics from Matchbox 20’s “Back 2 Good:”

Just stand there/I could say so much
But I don’t go there cuz I don’t want to I was thinking if you were lonely Maybe we could leave here and no one would know
… I’m lonely now and I don’t know how to get it back to good.

Her response? “It’s too late!” she screamed out at the end of the song.

“Wilmer tried to take it like a man,” says the clubgoer. “But he left a few minutes later.”

Sounds like someone’s got a case of “tired hands”. I guess once you’ve beaten off so many times in a row, singing a song for Lohan ass doesn’t sound too pathetic. On second thought, it does.