Heidi Montag shows off her new implants…[Egotastic]

Petra Nemcova looking stunning…[Derek Hail]

This is what Jessica Simpson is having sex with…[Horny Oyster]

Elisabeth and Rosie after the fight…[Yeeeah]

Heidi Klum named her boobs…[CelebSlam]

Yamila Rahi’s hot bikini video…[Chugs&Jugs]

Kristin Cavallari takes a trip to Vegas…[Popoholic]

Marissa Miller accepts a hottie award…[Hollywood Tuna]

Caprice shows off her lady bumps…[Grumpiest]

Wow do Kristin Cavallari’s boobs look bigger than usual in these pictures or what? I’m not sure if she’s wearing some kind of push-up bra or something, mostly because bras scare and confuse me. Whats the deal with those bras that have like 15 clasps anyway? It’s hard enough to take off 2, why have 15? The worst is when they pull the ‘ol switch-a-roo and it clasps in the front. I’ll be reaching around back there for 15 minutes until the girl stops me and tells me it’s in the front. Damn bras. They get me every time.

Few things go so well together like hot chicks and balls. Some say peanut butter and jelly comes close, but it’s been scientifically proven that if I had entitled this post “Kristin Cavallari eats a PB&J” you probably would’ve skipped over it. Unfortunately Kristin Cavallari isn’t Paris Hilton, so it’s just a bowling ball…but maybe that face of shock is because she found out what Paris Hilton was actually doing while she was bowling…

Hayden Panettiere was seen shopping last week with Laguna Beach alumni Kristin Cavallari. Can I just say how refreshing it is to see two hot chicks become friends? I hate it when I see some fug monster walking around with a hot chick. It’s like seeing a beautiful Porsche with a shitty Hundai interior. And if Hayden or Kristin are reading this, I’d like to give them some tips to fully enjoy their new friendship thanks to this article I found about seducing your straight female friend:

Get her drunk. We all know about the loosening effects of booze; few substances can match liquor when it comes to lowering her defenses. Just be careful about the quantity—puking before that first kiss can be a definite turnoff, and it’s damned near impossible to bring someone who’s passed out to a violent orgasm.

It doesn’t matter which one of you does the seducing, just make sure the video tape’s rolling. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go change my shorts. I seem to have stained them.

Kim Kardashian’s sex tape is almost here…[Hollywood Tuna]

Victoria Beckham in Playboy?…[Egotastic]

Tricia Helfer is THE hottest on the planet…NSFW…[4tang]

Izabel Goulart is delicious…[The Grumpiest]

Kristin Cavallari is a nobody. A hot nobody…[Popoholic]

Jennifer Walcott is the hottest playmate…[Horny Oyster]

Katherine McPhee’s rack au natural…[Yeeeah]